well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
