shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
