I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
