Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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