we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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