I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I smell stomach acid.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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