he wants to bone in the snuggie
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
