I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
