The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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