She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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