Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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