My brain says no but my pants say off.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
