yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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