is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
