Are we in a gay sports bar?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
