how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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