one two three fourrrrnication!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
