You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
