im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
