I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
