Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
