Will you blow on my dice?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
