wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
