I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
sarcasm needs its own font
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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