belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Randomize
