Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A+ Viking dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
