kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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