i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
