ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it's great music for shaving your balls
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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