When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
