I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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