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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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