areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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