Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
