Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
