So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
