yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
