Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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