Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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