one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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