i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
