butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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