I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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