A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
