She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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