hotel room ftw
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
