Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
