why didn't you poke me back
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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