the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
