the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
