have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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